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Life of Pride
Friday, November 09, 2007
 
This morning I was reading the story of Paul's conversion in Acts chapter 9. I find that I identify with elements of the story that I have always merely skimmed over before.

"And as he journeyed, he came near Damascus: and suddenly there shined round about him a light from heaven: and he fell to the earth, and heard a voice saying unto him, Saul, Saul, why persecutest thou me? And he said, Who art thou, Lord? And the Lord said, I am Jesus whom thou persecutest: it is hard for thee to kick against the pricks."

Paul was a devout Jew. He thought of God a lot, but apparently did not know who He really was. When he speaks to God, Paul knows He is "Lord," but he doesn't know who "Lord" is. So he asks, "Who art thou?" Then when Jesus replies, He says that Paul has been fighting Him. It's as though Paul knew the truth all along and had become even more virulent against the Christians in unconscious rebellion.

"And Saul arose from the earth; and when his eyes were opened, he saw no man: but they led him by the hand, and brought him into Damascus. And he was three days without sight, and neither did eat nor drink."

So I wonder, why did God choose to take away Saul's sight for those three days? I know I felt when my depression hit this summer like I had nothing left. I was internally blind. So now I know that everything I have, all I am, is God's. I think that God wanted to show Paul something similar and even more intense. God wanted to claim total control of Paul's sight and understanding.
Also, I see Paul's response here. It doesn't say whether he was unable to eat and drink or if he chose not to do so. If this experience was anything like mine, the distinction is practically irrelevant. I almost could not eat; I ate because I knew I should, and even then, my stomach almost rebelled constantly. This made me very weak and brought me even closer to God in dependence.
Scientifically, the human body needs water much more quickly than it does food. Paul must have been well-nigh dead in body by the time Ananias arrived.

"And the Lord said unto [Ananias], Arise, and go into the street which is called Straight, and inquire in the house of Judas for one called Saul, of Tarsus: for, behold, he prayeth, and hath seen in a vision a man named Ananias coming in, and putting his hand on him, that he might receive his sight."

Those days must have stretched out at tremendous length for Paul. His entire life as he knew it needed to be stripped away. He did not have the Holy Spirit, the Comforter, yet - the Spirit comes to Paul when Ananias lays on his hands. Without the Spirit living with him, the only way for Paul to know God would be by literally constant prayer. No wonder he didn't eat or drink. He needed the three-day fast, the total dependence, to keep him in God's presence.
And then, Paul "saw" a vision without human sight. God inserted miraculous, supernatural sight into the dark void of human blindness. As always, He showed Paul, His strength reveals itself in our weakness. Therefore, someone as strong in mind as Paul had to be brought very low before his ministry could begin.
 
Comments:
I am just passing through your blog (and your Facebook account, incidentally!) for the first time in awhile, and I am encouraged by how much God has been working in your life ... how close you are to Him and how much you are communicating the lessons He is teaching you. God bless you!
 
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Why blog? Everyone's doing it. Normally that would be enough to keep me far, far away, but the concept is too cool. Spread your personal thoughts to the world - far better than talking, because you can say anything, and you don't need the courage to look someone in the eye. So, with these reasons in mind, I have embarked. Enjoy, or not, as the case may be. I know I will.

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