I think I head back to school in five days. I'm not entirely sure, because I'm not riding in my own car. I should check with the owner of the car and find out. :D T'would be a good thing to know at some point.

Every break is like this. I sleep for a week, then start counting down the days and weeks until I return to school. Towards the end, I try to slow it down because the days disappear too fast. Five days are not enough by far for everything I need to do. Life itself is too short, when it comes to that.

So what have I been doing with my time? Among other things, I've been thinking a lot about courtship and marriage. It's amazing how fascinating this topic is, and how frightening for me. It's fascinating to consider, because it helps me to prepare myself. And it's frightening to think about seriously, because it involves stepping out into the unknown and letting go of some of my confounded independence. I don't think there's anything so sweet as imagining someone cares for you, or as painful as finding he does not. And, as they say, "once burned, twice shy." Wisdom grows through the pain of crushes disappeared...

What wisdom says is that it is not sin to enjoy the sweetness, so long as one does not make an idol of romance. If romantic feelings send me to God, I will encourage them. If they draw me away and cause me to be selfish, I will turn toward God anyway. Then if the feelings are wrong, they will slowly leave me. If they are right, they will grow.

This policy has always in the past caused romantic feelings to disappear. But what happens the one, single, blessed time that God encourages romance? That is the mystery. It gives one a sense of a boat on an open sea, blown by a warm wind to lands unknown but surely pleasant.  ¶ 4:36 PM (0) comments