Ha. I am still so young and foolish that I don't even know what I don't know. Funny. Every once in a while I turn around, and I've grown in wisdom, and then I turn around again, and I am seriously lacking.

My biggest question right now is how to balance time and money appropriately. I have far too many things I want to do, and not enough time to do them in. I always find myself in that situation.

I've been thinking about this verse: For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move, and nothing will be impossible to you. (Matthew 17:20)

There was a time I believed this verse simply and absolutely. I believed that I could pray, and things would move. Then I hit a few snags with prayers, when nothing seemed to be happening. Some of these apparent roadblocks still stand.

I understand a little better now. I notice that Jesus doesn't say that the mountain will jump, only that it will move. He says nothing about its speed of movement. Some mountains take a lifetime, or many lifetimes, to shift their foundations. Nor does He promise that we ourselves will be able to see our mountains move. In fact, if we could see, we wouldn't have faith. Faith is the "evidence of things not seen."

When Whittaker Chambers became a Christian and left the Communist Party, he wrote that he joined the "losing side of history." And yet, partially in thanks to him and partially to many other brave souls, communism came crashing down in 1991. Chambers was already dead at that point, pushed into his grave early by sorrows and constant struggles.

How many things can we do if we give up our "right" to see results, if we die to all notions of profiting from success in this world? It seems awfully hard. But the truth is this: God is, and He delights to reward those who diligently seek Him. Everything is God's, and He may choose to give it out as He sees fit, in His timing. Whether I am rewarded now or in eternity is not my concern. Obedience is.  ¶ 6:48 AM (0) comments

  So, I might be learning Brazilian jiujitsu as well as TKD. I always wanted to learn jiujitsu. It's somewhat intimidating, since it involves grappling and trying to break people's limbs, but that is also what makes it actually useful for self-defense. 90% of fights end up on the ground, after all. My dojang is offering classes in this martial art after the TKD classes I normally attend on Mondays and Thursdays.

I am also going to go ahead and dive into the research for Not A Creature of the State, the book I would love to complete.

I am unsure how much longer this blog will exist. I may remove it from the Internet entirely at some point in this next year, depending on when and if I become more publicly known.  ¶ 12:50 PM (0) comments