Calmer and cleaner. That's how I feel after Thanksgiving break. I feel like maybe I can do this whole "adult" thing. There is no explanation for the change, other than God's fingers working in my soul. In Christ I live, move, and have my being. I think I'm gonna come back stronger than I ever was before. That's what it means to be a child of God - not that we don't suffer, but that the suffering turns to strength. The phoenix rises from the ashes.

Phoenixes fascinate me. One of the best characters in Erthe, the world I started writing three years ago, is a phoenix. His name is Pharr. There are only two phoenixes in all of Erthe. The other is called Wyde, a female. The two are not "romantically" involved in any way, yet they each fulfill a specific purpose in their world by being male or female. They share an excellent friendship, but with perfect control they have never allowed it to tip over into romance because it is not part of the greater purpose for them. They are not human after all; their emotions work differently.

As phoenixes, you see, and servants of the one true King, Pharr and Wyde were created with the unique ability to "see" all of their past and future at once. This is because the souls of phoenixes never truly leave the current world, nor do their bodies truly die. When their bodies wear out for some reason, they are engulfed in a special flame, which burns away the impurities of the old manifestation (very painfully!) so that they are new and fresh again. This is the blessing and the curse of phoenixes; the King created them so that Erthe can see a reflection of the greater story that happened in Earth, the universe next door. So phoenixes live day by day, while at the same time they already know everything that will happen to them and around them. In a sense, they exist both in and out of time.

Susan: "If I knew all my future, I couldn't live for sheer boredom!"
Pharr: "Ah, so you think. But wouldn't you revisit some sweet joys if you could? The present is color, the rest only black and white."
Susan: "What about the pain of repeated death?"
Pharr: "Just one color out of many."  ¶ 5:54 AM