I guess the biggest thing that has surprised me about life is the uncertainty of it. The temporal uncertainty, that is. If I wasn't a Christian, I would probably explode. As it is, I do know some hard and fast truths:
- God exists.
- God is omnipotent, omniscient, all-good, and all-loving.
- God created me, and He knew the specific purpose He had for me even as He knit me in my mother's womb.
It's beginning to dawn on me that God isn't going to thunder from Heaven and tell me my specific purpose for my entire life. Nor does the fact that I can easily envision a potential for my life in about twenty different directions mean that I am God-ordained to follow any one of them.
It is so hard for me to walk forward in darkness without being paralyzed. During formal education, it is easy, although I felt hints of the darkness last summer when I didn't know (briefly) whether I was heading back to PHC or not. It scared me then, but I am so grateful for the pre-shock now.
This is what it means to walk by faith, not by sight. Letting go and waiting to know.