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Life of Pride
Friday, June 08, 2007
 
Gosh, I'm sleepy. I just finished eleven hours of road trip to pick up my three youngest siblings from their Worldview Academy camp waaay at the opposite end of Missouri. But I have happy, good news. The end of one little saga is almost over, and another begins soon. Starting over Christmas break, I tried to step out in a direction I had never tried before - moviemaking. It was a vague, fearful step because I had no idea where it would land me. I also prayed for patience and understanding.

Over the course of the last several months, I have learned that I am mostly fascinated with writing movie stories, just as I have been drawn to write stories of all sorts for the last eleven years of my life. I want to learn how to use a camera and video-editing software, but that is not my passion.

So anyway, during the process of figuring this out I became convinced that I should stay in the northern Virginia area, since that's where my movie project mentor is planning to run five independent movie projects over the next three years. Problem is, as I know from previous experience, just 'cause I am convinced of something doesn't mean that everyone else has the same message. My mom could not see it at all, and so my parents would not support this decision at first. I felt more alone and confused than I ever have in my life. So I grew up.

See, I prayed two things - "Lord God, close all doors but the one I should go through," and, "Lord, let me know what you want me to do only when I need to know." These prayers led inevitably to two more things - lots of rejection and lots of waiting. I applied for a few different jobs at PHC, and I was turned down for each one. Did this mean that God was closing the door on my plan? Was it all a crazy impulse of my own? Could I trust absolutely none of my faculties, my perceptions, my wants and desires? How should I lead life? What was my purpose, since I had turned down grad school for this coming fall?

A week and a half before finals, Dr. Hake sent around an email about a new job opening up soon in Communications. It involved writing, editing, graphics & layout ability, and Internet skills. Huh - funny. My exact skill set, since I have worked for my parents' magazine for years, Internet programming is one of my most favorite hobbies, and I was Public Affairs Officer of the year for the entire state of Missouri when I was in Civil Air Patrol.

I replied to the email immediately and was told that the job opening hadn't actually been formally posted yet. So I waited another week. In the middle of finals, the formal announcement came around, and I shot off my cover letter and resume again, along with a potpourri of writing samples.

Finals ended. That Wednesday, three days before graduation, I had my interview with Mr. Halbrook. We talked for an hour about everything in the world. He told me I would probably know in a month.

I drove home with my family, and the waiting began. It became more and more clear in these weeks just how impossible it would be for me to head back out to VA if I didn't get this job. Really, my plans hinged around this key point - did I get the job or not?

A week and a half ago my pastor preached an excellent sermon about praying. He spoke on the text about the widow who pesters the unjust judge until she gets justice. "We should PUSH - Pray Until Something Happens," he said. So I started praying three times a day for this (and other things), which turned into nonstop prayer some days.

Tuesday of this week I had a second interview for the job via phone. Apparently, Dr. Farris gave me a sterling recommendation, and other people everywhere were speaking up for me as well. Mr. Halbrook said I would know by the end of the week.

Today I had just stopped with my siblings at a Wendy's in the center of Missouri when my cell phone rang. It was Mr. Halbrook. And I got the job!!!! God is so amazing. So is Dr. Farris. :D I will be heading east the first week of July, and my job begins in the second week.

There are no words, really, although I just used plenty.
 
Comments:
I am so happy for you! You probably know this already, but sometimes God doesn't close all the other doors...but I'm thankful He spared you that this time. Uncertainty is a hard thing.

I stumbled across your blog months ago and have really enjoyed reading about your adventures this last year at PHC. I thought you'd comment more about graduation, though. (Feel free to reflect; I'm probably not the only one who likes hearing this stuff.)

I was offline for awhile after a new baby this spring, so I scanned through your blog archives to see if you had any news about grad school. I think it's fine you are pursuing another avenue, but I was wondering if you are totally indefinite about it or just deferring for a year or so. Please keep us up to date on your projects.

My husband was looking over my shoulder when I was reading your blog the other day, and the entry had to do with wondering if anyone was reading your blog. Ha! He said I'd better write and tell you I was reading it.

Enjoy yourself during this time with your family.

Nicole
 
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Why blog? Everyone's doing it. Normally that would be enough to keep me far, far away, but the concept is too cool. Spread your personal thoughts to the world - far better than talking, because you can say anything, and you don't need the courage to look someone in the eye. So, with these reasons in mind, I have embarked. Enjoy, or not, as the case may be. I know I will.

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