I'm exhausted, but I can't sleep. I woke up randomly half an hour ago at 4am, and my eyelids keep closing, but my head hurts.

Last night I kept waking up also. In the middle of that, I dreamed, and I remember the dream. I never remember my dreams. It was more like a vision, it was so clear.

"I" wasn't really in the picture, but from my viewpoint I was gazing up at dark, layered, dramatic clouds that covered the sky. I was expectant; I knew something was going to happen. Almost immediately, a hole opened up in the clouds, and a pillar of light shone through. I felt an intense rush of joy, and my breath left me. "It's Jesus!" I thought. "He's coming, and right now I can stop struggling."

Then somehow the whole picture turned sideways so that I could see straight up through the hole in the clouds, like a tunnel. Jesus wasn't there. It was only light.

I was so disappointed. No, I was devastated. It was a combination of feeling ignorant (how could I have possibly thought it was Jesus coming?) and straight-up sadness and loss of something beautiful that I had grasped for just a second.

Still, it could have been. When He does come, maybe it will look just like that. So the dream was a gift as well.  ¶ 1:57 AM