Life of Pride
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
It's been much longer than a week since classes started. It's gotta be. A lot has happened. I've talked to dozens of people about my movie project and found out that there is indeed significant interest in producing it. So far so good. I'm on the 22nd page of (unformatted) screenplay. Sometime soon I need to start formatting it to find out how many pages I actually have. It would be awkward to think I'd finished the thing, only to find I had another 20 pages or something to create.
I'm trusting God with everything. Saturday and Sunday my brain was just weary, and I was seriously depressed. God drew me back to Himself on Sunday. My pastor read these verses during service:
Who is among you that feareth the Lord, that obeyeth the voice of his servant, that walketh in darkness, and hath no light? Let him trust in the name of the Lord, and stay upon his God. Behold, all ye that kindle a fire, that compass yourselves about with sparks: walk in the light of your fire, and in the sparks that ye have kindled. This shall ye have of mine hand; ye shall lie down in sorrow. ~ Isaiah 50:10-11
This has been my struggle. I can't see my future. I don't have the slightest clue where I'll be or what I'll be doing in May. What I didn't understand was that I only think I know where I'll be or what I'll be doing tomorrow. God could turn everything upside-down in an instant. Only He knows. See, the man in the verses above is fearing the Lord, obeying the voice of his servant, and walking in darkness. He's not sinning. He just lacks light.
So I began to wonder, where do I find light? And then I read this in Psalms 119 during personal devotions:
Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. ~ Psalms 119:105
God's Word will give me light. What its light has shone me is my own sin, which has been blocking my fellowship with my Creator. I've erected idols and tried to turn to them for satisfaction instead. I've kindled myself a fire, and I've lain down in sorrow. God wants me back. And He knows exactly what I need at this moment.
I'm trusting God with everything. Saturday and Sunday my brain was just weary, and I was seriously depressed. God drew me back to Himself on Sunday. My pastor read these verses during service:
Who is among you that feareth the Lord, that obeyeth the voice of his servant, that walketh in darkness, and hath no light? Let him trust in the name of the Lord, and stay upon his God. Behold, all ye that kindle a fire, that compass yourselves about with sparks: walk in the light of your fire, and in the sparks that ye have kindled. This shall ye have of mine hand; ye shall lie down in sorrow. ~ Isaiah 50:10-11
This has been my struggle. I can't see my future. I don't have the slightest clue where I'll be or what I'll be doing in May. What I didn't understand was that I only think I know where I'll be or what I'll be doing tomorrow. God could turn everything upside-down in an instant. Only He knows. See, the man in the verses above is fearing the Lord, obeying the voice of his servant, and walking in darkness. He's not sinning. He just lacks light.
So I began to wonder, where do I find light? And then I read this in Psalms 119 during personal devotions:
Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. ~ Psalms 119:105
God's Word will give me light. What its light has shone me is my own sin, which has been blocking my fellowship with my Creator. I've erected idols and tried to turn to them for satisfaction instead. I've kindled myself a fire, and I've lain down in sorrow. God wants me back. And He knows exactly what I need at this moment.
Comments:
I'm learning much the same thing. Facing future uncertainties. But God is good to give us truths with which to encourage each other. Come by my room sometime and I'll make you tea and we can study together :).
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