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Life of Pride
Monday, January 15, 2007
 
I am back at PHC earlier than expected, because I wanted to avoid the ice storm that was blowing through the Midwest. It is no fun driving in ice storms. Nathan C., for example, spun off the road twice during his own drive from OK. But I set off just ahead of the storm, and so I managed to miss it. God is good. And so are Ashlea and the Bode family, each of whom put me up for a night. I am so blessed. :)

I have a few goals for this new semester. Fundamentally, I want to invest in people. I've been asking God daily to teach me about love for several months, and what He's been showing me is how much I need to improve. I look down on other people and judge them, and all the time they are the ones making a real impact in others' lives. This humbles me more than I can say. I see how I haven't let myself be vulnerable with people, how my pride has held me back. I have been willing to help (on my own schedule), but not to let myself be helped by others. I have held myself apart and erected barriers.

Also, I want to make a movie. I have several motives for this. First, I have a vision for moviemaking that nobody else seems to grasp: I want to make real movies, real entertainment, about real Christian problems. Movies by Christians for Christians, about the struggles we all face. I sometimes think that we all don't want to admit to each other that we struggle. But when we don't admit it, all we do is isolate ourselves and fragment the body of Christ. This sort of movie could bring Christians together.

Second, I want to invest in my own talents. Last semester my church had a "Kingdom Project"; we were given $100 and told to make it into more. I did airport runs at Thanksgiving and brought back more than $300 to my church. The project made me realize in a fundamental way that all the talents I have are God's on loan. I've been talking about moviemaking and thinking wistfully for years that I would be good at it. But I never have. Why not? It's fear of failure, pure and simple. I've been like the third guy in the parable: "For I feared thee, because thou art an austere man: thou takest up that thou layedst not down, and repest that thou didst not sow." Or perhaps even more so, I didn't recognize my talents as God's, and I feared what others would think of failure. But frankly, there is no way to fail. I will learn an incredible amount no matter what, and so my current talents and abilities will grow into more. This is a fact.

Third, I want to invest in others' talents. There are so many skilled and gifted people on campus who need an opportunity to bring their abilities together. I think I can provide that, if God will point them out.

Some facts about talent-growing have recently sprung out to me in bits of Bible I have read. I share them here:

"If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you. Herein is my Father glorified, that ye bear much fruit; so shall ye be my disciples" (John 15:7-8).
"But that on the good ground are they, which in an honest and good heart, having heard the word, keep it, and bring forth fruit with patience" (Luke 8:15).
"Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the Lord; and in his law doth he meditate day and night. And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper" (Psalms 1:1-3).

From these verses I see that we are fruitful when we are abiding in Christ, being watered by His Word day and night. And the fruit takes time to grow; patience in well-doing is key. I pray that God will give me joy in His Word so that my project will glorify Him and be a blessing to myself and others.
 
Comments:
Those are some great goals!! Be careful though, not to fall into the trap of spending your lifetime preparing yourself to invest in others. There will always be something between you and being "truly" ready. Little is preventing you from starting now, and there is most always a way to continue building your talents while serving other individuals.

P.S. Yes, Felicia and I have set a date for June 15th, 2007. It seems like an eternity, but I know it will be here in a heartbeat. :-)

P.S.S. Don't be obligated in the least, but as an old friend, you shall be getting an invitation. ;-)
 
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Why blog? Everyone's doing it. Normally that would be enough to keep me far, far away, but the concept is too cool. Spread your personal thoughts to the world - far better than talking, because you can say anything, and you don't need the courage to look someone in the eye. So, with these reasons in mind, I have embarked. Enjoy, or not, as the case may be. I know I will.

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