Home again. Picking up the scattered pieces and growing experiences of a semester. It is all a little overwhelming. I've been looking forward to this time of security and warmth for a few months now, 'cause it's scary out there in the world without people who love you unconditionally. Funny how it took me so many years to notice this. Anyway, I have several things I would like to accomplish over this break, but mostly I just want to sit back and enjoy. I am so much better at doing than enjoying. Like the difference between Mary and Martha.

It occurs to me that life is altogether a gift. This struck me yesterday evening as I was driving through West Virginia in a red-gold sunset that was so beautiful it made me cry. God creates a new sunrise and sunset every morning and evening simply as a gift. There is no "practical" reason for such beauty. He is saying to us, "Look at what I have done! Aren't I skilled? This is proof that I can take care of you." The message is as tangible as words.

Life in general is the same. Why should we exist in this form when we are going to spend eternity in another? What is the purpose, the practical reason for inserting this little "blip" into our existence? It's not to punish us with the problem of pain. It is a gift. He intended it to be absolutely gorgeous, but then we misunderstood it the same way we so often ignore the sunrise and sunset. Now, thanks to the Fall, bad things happen, but life in general is still a gift. It has everything we need to become who we need to be.

I just wish I understood. I think perhaps true romantic love would help me fumble a little closer to understanding, because then I could draw parallels in my limited temporal fashion. Every once in a while I have caught a glimpse or two, but it always fades. Like the sunset. And by now I don't expect that my appreciation of a sunset will compel it to remain.  ¶ 5:08 PM