What is this ennui that touches me as summer progresses? Several weeks swept by, and I was carelessly happy to work and play. Now I find my old restlessness again - an unwelcome companion.

Tonight I picked up my Bible and turned to Ecclesiastes. The familiar words struck more chords than ever before. I had spent an entire year praying to God every day for wisdom. Sure enough, the scales had slowly fallen off, culminating in the PHC disorder. I saw the world, and it was broken. "And I gave my heart to know wisdom, and to know madness and folly: I perceived that this also is vexation of spirit. For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow."

Is it always worthwhile to want to know? Solomon's answer is clear: "He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end. I know that there is no good in them, but for a man to rejoice and to do good in his life."

The answer, I'm beginning to understand, is deceptively simple. I can't know everything, and this is God's blessing. I don't have to. I can let go and let God be God.

Solomon was the wisest man in the world, but he didn't act on his own knowledge, and so he aged into the saddened author of Ecclesiastes. I feel the seeds of similar bitterness in myself, but I don't want to cultivate them. I want to let go.

Simple faith is so much more powerful than wisdom.  ¶ 8:38 PM