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Life of Pride
Saturday, March 18, 2006
 
My day:

1am-9am - Fall asleep in my chair in the basement. Sleep very poorly, but too tired to remove self to bed.

9am-11:30am - Choir practice at church office. Not the best. Everyone seems a little tired or on edge. Run over three bars of our Handel piece about ten times.

11:30am-2pm - Arrive home ready to attack research, which have been thinking about all week and have had no time to do. Mom says she needs self to finish the last bit of the job in progress during the week. Finish job.

2pm-3:30pm - Try to start research and fall asleep again in basement chair, this time for real. Wake up slightly more alert.

3:30pm-4pm - Check email for the umpteenth time this day, although realizing everyone is either traveling or already preoccupied with spring break. No email. Feel very, very alone. Listen to mournful music. Spirits drop to almost their lowest extent as combination of PHC mess and not having started research yet today at 4pm.

4pm-5pm - Actually begin looking through many pages and files of notes in order to dump out important dates and facts for project, preparatory to sorting and outlining. Feel small and incompetent when faced with this mountain of details to be organized.

5pm-5:40pm - Pray for PHC, friends, the country. Pour out despair.

5:40pm-6:00pm - Eat an entire whole-wheat bagel with peanut butter instead of half, because in need of energy this evening. While doing so, in between bites, pack up laptop in one backpack and exercise clothes in another. Load them into car.

6:00pm-6:15pm - In transit to Borders, still feeling completely incapable of handling my project. Talk to God some more, this time about self. Realize that self is belying all prayers over the past few months, in which self told God that she trusts Him. This is Satan talking, trying to mess me up and keep me from getting my good work and prayer done. Of course self can write this project. God does not avert all tough times, but He is here through them. He is with self now, in car. Pray for joy and peace, and, just like that, despair lifts.

6:15pm-8:00pm - Finish reading through all my current notes and adding items loosely into the framework of future outline. See it take shape as visualize how many pages each section will take to write. Am energized as work comes together, and realize self is going to make true conclusions that nobody else has yet formulated. Can almost see the whole project in my head, though it is still full of disturbing holes.

8:00pm-9:00pm - Put project out of mind as self heads to the gym. Planned to run 2/3 of a mile and then do leg workout. Irritating clicking in right leg, which the chiropractor adjusted away on Friday, returns. Feel slight tingling in right kneecap, reminiscent of chronic knee troubles between ages 18-20. Desist from running after 1/4 mile, which hardly raises a sweat. Stretch carefully; no unusual tightness anywhere. Decide it is time to change leg workout, as have been doing the same weights routine for legs for two months. Perhaps part of problem? In new routine, take care to exhaust both quadriceps and hamstrings, hitting both inner and outer portions of legs. Finish 5 mins before gym closes; right knee not clicking as much. Still very disturbing to self, because have no desire to undergo knee troubles again.

9:00pm-10:00pm - Drive home. Consume glutamine supplement, in hopes of reducing muscle pain over next few days. Consume glucosamine/chondroitin supplement, in hopes of increasing joint lubrication. Eat strawberries and chicken breast in hopes of feeding muscles. Rejoice over new groceries bought by Dad in order to fill empty fridge. Hug little sisters. Write blog post.

10:00pm-10:40pm - Still to be experienced, but expect it will be family Bible reading.

10:40pm-11:00pm - STBE, but expect that self will take a shower.

11:00pm - If self is smart, will go to bed.
 
Comments:
Check email for the umpteenth time this day, although realizing everyone is either traveling or already preoccupied with spring break. No email. Feel very, very alone.

I'm sorry. :-(

Tell you what, I'll send you a nice long e-mail with all the interesting things I've been up to that I don't write about on my blog. Or better yet, if you really want something special, remind me of your mailing address (I've lost it somewhere...), and I'll make it handwritten. (Sorry, I won't go to the lengths of using my Spencerian Calligraphy - such is reserved for a certain significant other)

P.S. I found out by happenstance the other day that we have a mutual friend in Marian, who incidentally knows the young lady I am courting. :-) Small World!
 
Check email for the umpteenth time this day, although realizing everyone is either traveling or already preoccupied with spring break. No email. Feel very, very alone.

I'm sorry. :-(

Tell you what, I'll send you a nice long e-mail with all the interesting things I've been up to that I don't write about on my blog. Or better yet, if you really want something special, remind me of your mailing
 
Aw, thanks Mathew. :) Sure, send me a note! I would love to hear how things are going with you - and with the "significant other." ;)
 
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Why blog? Everyone's doing it. Normally that would be enough to keep me far, far away, but the concept is too cool. Spread your personal thoughts to the world - far better than talking, because you can say anything, and you don't need the courage to look someone in the eye. So, with these reasons in mind, I have embarked. Enjoy, or not, as the case may be. I know I will.

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