Well, people, if you're reading this, you have lived to see the very last day of 2005. Tomorrow, therefore, is 2006. I always find the turn of the year an odd time. One gets so used to adding a particular set of numbers to the end of a date: "04," "05," etc. Years become a habit. Then the habit has to change. It reminds one that life is a series of slowly changing consistencies.
Then one comes to New Year's resolutions. We've all heard the jokes about resolutions made and broken in the first few weeks. I take mine very seriously, the same way I consider all my official goals. I don't want to lie to myself any more than I want to lie to others or to God. So I made this a time of serious reflection last year, and I intend to do the same tomorrow. Last year, I came to the last page of my notebook/journal on Dec. 31st without even planning to do so. Again, this year I have a single page remaining. I intend to read through the beginning of my journal and record those portions of my character that are different and the same.
One interesting item about this New Year's is that I am not in MO. I am in KY. Both Gabi and I are here, in fact, because we drove to Louisville to spend the weekend with Ashlea D., our former beloved roommate of three semesters. I am sitting in her apartment typing, while Gabi and Ashlea discuss the proper way for Amanda, Ashlea's apartment-mate, to mail her wedding invitations. We've talked, shopped, and watched several episodes of
Smallville. (I brought Season 4 with me, because I was in the middle of it, and neither Ashlea nor Gabi had seen any.) Tonight we are going to watch more, eat ice cream (we each bought ourselves a pint), and each drink a glass of wine. The occasion feels solemn more than exciting, as if we must savor it, because we don't know when we will all three be together again. This is a fitting way for me to end one year and begin another that will be so different from the previous few.