I went to see
King Kong with my older brother last night. It was worth seeing once, or probably more than once, after a sufficient lapse. But I just couldn't let myself get into the plot. Part of me, the aged and weary part, held back. I'm tired through and through. I'm not passionate about life right now.
Everything used to matter
so much! I had huge plans for my life, how I was going to Change Culture. I don't any more, not really. All I want now is to learn to write excellently whatever God gives me to write and let Him handle the consequences. I want to let the days drift past me, instead of fighting them tooth and nail for all the things I don't have time to do. I
can't care about every single thing so intensely, because I can't help most things. I'm only one person; I'm not God. All I can do is pray for the rest and let go.
Last summer I was often so sad for the world, looking at what it could be and what it is. The answer to that sadness is joy at my salvation and the salvation of others. We are not imprisoned by the Fall any more. Sin tempts us dreadfully, especially if we have built bad habits, but we need not give in. So the world is a mess, yes - but we are not dependent on it.