Life of Pride
Friday, June 24, 2005
I am at Princeton University, standing in my pinching high heels at a computer in the huge, lovely university library. They gave all us conference participants a library card yesterday afternoon when we arrived. Along with that, we received our room key and a blue portfolio packet full of materials about ISI fellowships and conservative activities. Then we crashed for an hour or so. The dorm rooms here are miniscule, with no carpeting. I have a hard, military-style twin bed with a furry red wool sheet, a desk with no chair, and a closet. I share a bathroom with another girl in the other bedroom across the suite. This is a far cry from PHC, where the rooms are twice as big and the furniture is made of sturdy, attractive hardwood. Of course, I don't have to share this one with anybody, which is a plus. :)
The campus is lovely, though I've hardly had time to see it. We rushed from place to place yesterday evening and ate a formal dinner of steak :), and then we walked about a mile across campus this morning (in heels for me!) to get to the building where our classes are held. So far today we've had classes on Russell Kirk, St, Augustine, and Hayek's book Road To Serfdom. I felt stilted at first, as I think we all did, but I asked right up front about Christianity and its place in the state during the Q&A of the first lecture, and then I felt much better. I'm here to learn, not to prove anything. As long as I remember that, I'm fine.
Last night was different. I felt tired and out of place, both in body and in soul. I knew I needed to pray, so I left the after-dinner reception early, showered, called home, prayed, and read the first chapter of Ecclesiastes. That certainly put everything in perspective: "And I gave my heart to know wisdom, and to know madness and folly: I perceived that this also is vexation of spirit. For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow" (Ecc. 1:17-18). So true. I was out of it because I felt that these people were also very smart, and they didn't especially recognize my intelligence. Good grief! *smacks forehead* If I am intelligent, emphasis on the if, what does it get me anyway? Absolutely nothing, unless I use it properly! So now I'm free. I don't worry what people here think of me any more, so long as I prove a good example for Christ.
Free time lasts for another two hours and ten minutes. I want to exercise and nap during this time, so I'd better sign off here.
The campus is lovely, though I've hardly had time to see it. We rushed from place to place yesterday evening and ate a formal dinner of steak :), and then we walked about a mile across campus this morning (in heels for me!) to get to the building where our classes are held. So far today we've had classes on Russell Kirk, St, Augustine, and Hayek's book Road To Serfdom. I felt stilted at first, as I think we all did, but I asked right up front about Christianity and its place in the state during the Q&A of the first lecture, and then I felt much better. I'm here to learn, not to prove anything. As long as I remember that, I'm fine.
Last night was different. I felt tired and out of place, both in body and in soul. I knew I needed to pray, so I left the after-dinner reception early, showered, called home, prayed, and read the first chapter of Ecclesiastes. That certainly put everything in perspective: "And I gave my heart to know wisdom, and to know madness and folly: I perceived that this also is vexation of spirit. For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow" (Ecc. 1:17-18). So true. I was out of it because I felt that these people were also very smart, and they didn't especially recognize my intelligence. Good grief! *smacks forehead* If I am intelligent, emphasis on the if, what does it get me anyway? Absolutely nothing, unless I use it properly! So now I'm free. I don't worry what people here think of me any more, so long as I prove a good example for Christ.
Free time lasts for another two hours and ten minutes. I want to exercise and nap during this time, so I'd better sign off here.
Comments:
Sarah, I hope you have a lovely time, dear!
You are absolutely right... don't worry about how other people may perceive you (I fall into this trap a lot, too, instead of resting in God's view of me and His plan for me). Enjoy your time at Princeton -- it sounds like such an exciting opportunity, albeit a little out of the comfort zone. I hope you learn a great deal and just soak up the knowledge and come back to share it with us :).
You are absolutely right... don't worry about how other people may perceive you (I fall into this trap a lot, too, instead of resting in God's view of me and His plan for me). Enjoy your time at Princeton -- it sounds like such an exciting opportunity, albeit a little out of the comfort zone. I hope you learn a great deal and just soak up the knowledge and come back to share it with us :).
Well, it's true. The more I see of the world, the deeper my sadness for it grows. Heh, Wes, you're part of the sadness right now, just so you know. :D It is because I appreciate my own personal happiness more, and yet I regret that others don't understand the same way. I imagine that, in eternity, I will continue to learn more and more, but it will only be the happy half. :D
=Sarah=
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=Sarah=
