Life of Pride
Not enough of it
Not enough of
Not enough
Of
Time
So much in so short -
Stop.
Drink a cup of tea,
A cup of calmness.
A cup of tea forces you be slow,
Lets your mind catch up,
Lets the whole day come together
And settle through your pores like osmosis.
Stop and drink the tea, or leave the day behind.
You know what would be fun? It would be fun to write a fictitious blog, for a person who never existed, and invent her life. I could invent a whole fake person if I wanted, and leave a trail of electronic information across the Internet.
Man, that's almost a cool idea, except I don't even have to look. It's such an obvious thought that I'm sure somebody's done it already. But it's all I can come up with to write in my own blog right now, because my brain is shot.
Will the tired college student last through the next three weeks of school until summer vacation? Will finals crush every last ounce of individualism? Tune in to find out.
What can I say? Everyone looked lovely; the old house we hired for the night was fantastic; the food was plentiful and tasty. Liberty Ball was very nice. But I don't feel like talking about it now. I just don't. Sometimes it is impossible to talk, and even more so, for me, to write.
I'm unhappy right now. An older man who has been very good to my family, and whom I liked and respected very much died this weekend from a massive heart attack. I don't think he was a Christian. This means that most likely I will never see him again. I would have liked to say goodbye, but he was back where my home is, and I am here at college.
Nobody I knew and liked quite a bit has ever died before. The older brother of my older brother's friend died in a car accident, tearing
that whole family apart, but I didn't know him very well, and I was little. For the first time, I know what it's like.
He died at 1:07am last night, when I was at T.G.I. Friday's with friends after Liberty Ball feeling sorry for myself while they all laughed and talked. I was snippy with my roommate this morning. Why must I be mean to people? Why is life so hard?
I am nervous, excited and happy all at once, because the Liberty Ball is tonight! This means that we all get to dress up. :) I may be a jeans girl normally, but I am first and foremost a
girl. Therefore, I love to dress up.
But I will save a review for tomorrow. For today, I will for once keep things short.
Today in one of my classes, we were discussing Marx and Engels. The conversation turned to our time, and the constant march toward centralization in government. It makes me think - democracy isn't going to last forever. Nothing does. America's not going to maintain its overarching power forever, either. Past ages have always had their supreme powers, and every one has given way to something else. We live in a world that's always shifting, and always imperfect, so that when something rises, something else falls. Some day we'll be the ones falling. In some ways, we already are. Who will be on top next? I don't know. Who's rising right now? If I had to pick, I would say Russia, a country finding its way to Christianity now, will rise as America falls.
Just a thought.
In case my little sisters read this, I want first to say thanks, because they sent me homemade gingersnaps. They're luscious; I shared them around my dorm wing this morning.
Today, I think I shall forget the philosophical and the funny for a bit and talk about life. We at my school have something called the "Liberty Ball" tomorrow evening. My roommates and I have been preparing for this. It involves all sorts of things that guys would never imagine, such as tan lines and hairstyles and other stuff, like, "Ooh, I've lost a few pounds - now I
really have to attach straps to my gown." No, for guys it's easy. Put a little gel in their hair and toss on a suit and they're ready to go.
Further, a guy at this (Christian) school recently sent around a very nice and thought-provoking email encouraging us females to be modest. It was written from a very guy point of view, meaning that it said basically, "You don't need to pile scoops of makeup onto your face and spend hours doing your hair because you are desperately trying to snag a guy! Further, dress modestly."
I knew what he was trying to say, but it caused me a bit of consternation at first. I own a lovely, modest, strapless gown that I was already intending to add straps to, though really it doesn't need them too much. For a second I looked at it and thought, "I should buy a burlap sack and a veil, don them ten minutes before the dance, and go like that."
Then I thought, "Oh, whatever, there's nothing evil about wanting to be pretty one night out of 365!" So I saved the email to read later and went with my roommate to Wal-Mart to buy ribbon for dress straps.
I'm sorry, however, but I can't keep away from humor. Today at lunch some friends and I were discussing dwarf tossing, because a couple of upperclassmen had left sheets on the dining hall trays that advertised their spoof platform for the upcoming student body presidential elections. One of the items banned dwarf tossing. So after lunch, I went looking for data on this wonderful sport.
Turns out that Ontario, Canada tried to pass a
bill banning this sport. Further, in September of 2002, a French ban on dwarf tossing caused one dwarf to protest. He
lost his case before a UN human rights committee. It determined it violated human dignity.
Actually, it's surprising how many dwarves have sued and lost over
this sport. My favorite quote in
one article says, "I suggest there are plenty of other ways for him to make a fool out of himself that are legal. I suggest he take advantage of those."
This is a strange world.
Back again. You know what? I think I would like to nap before dinner at 5pm, but I shall make this post first.
Know what? It's hard to think of something intelligent each and every day. It's good for my brain, because it makes me pare down my thoughts to put them into written form.
Speaking about being good for my brain, I took an IQ test at
tickle.com on Sunday. It gave me a score of 142. Of course, I then had to find out what that meant, so I paid for the test results.
Before you laugh at me, I earned more than some website owner's opinion on my intelligence for my $12.95. I earned 7 days free trial of all the rest of tickle.com's tests, with extended results. A splendid value indeed.
I found out many things about myself. First, I found that I scored off the curve of the IQ test, because I only got one question wrong. This makes me a "Visionary Philosopher." It says that, "In addition to your strengths in math and linguistics, you have a knack for matching and anticipating patterns." Also, like an oracle it tells me, "if you were on an archaeological dig and discovered an object, you could probably use your deductive powers to figure out not only what the object was but also how it was used."
Whoa! It's like a message from above, in this cheap little online report, considering I've been thinking about studying archaeology in graduate school! Who would have thought it?
Hehehe, I would be more impressed if I hadn't taken innumerable other IQ tests on the Internet before. This one was dead easy.
Besides my IQ, I have discovered other interesting things. Keep in mind that these are all scientifically proven accurate.
(A) My ideal guy is fairly romantic, very mature, poor, and ugly.
(B) I eat food very well in terms of When and How, and somewhat well in terms of What.
(C) If I were a dog, I would be a St. Bernard.
(D) My True Talents are Verbal and Spatial combined.
(E) I am Left-Brained.
(F) I am 35% masculine and 65% feminine, meaning that I am Highly Feminine. This means that I tend to be cheerful, compassionate, gentle, understanding, trusting... and timid. . . . Ya.
Frankly, I'm hooked. This Internet stuff is great! Like I was saying before, why go out and
do stuff to learn by experience, when I can just take a test and find out everything about myself? Why didn't people think of this years ago?
I think I'm going to go take some more tests.
Snatching a few minutes from my day to post before Bio lab in 22 minutes, I happened to think. Most people think all the time, so this was not too strange. I only register the event, however, when I actually think of something that strikes me as unusual. This was one such occasion.
I happened to think, what would it be like if you could just walk 'round a corner and be in another world. Perhaps it could be a corner not even in this world, but in the other, so that you wouldn't know you had walked 'round it until you emerged in the other place. That would be an awesome story idea. I think I'll have to write it some time.
Today has been a beautiful day. The air is soft, and hazy with sunlight filtered through a thin layer of cirrus. People are mowing the dandelion fields around campus, which makes a nice, homey buzz. In Philosophy, we've been discussing Kierkegaard, whom I like.
Yes. Kierkegaard says some good things. For those who don't know, he coined the term "leap of faith," in talking about Abraham and the command from God to sacrifice Isaac. The "leap" involved the absurd conclusion, unable to be derived by human reason, that, since God had previously promised generations through Isaac, He would reconcile that promise with the current command and create the absolute best solution. It is really quite an amazing tale, and I appreciate the opportunity to examine it in such detail.
It strikes me that we operate on the absurd daily, just by going about our daily business when, at any moment, we could die from any number of things. People do. Why not us? Actually, I suppose there are three different ways of dealing. We can (1) hedonistically live for the pleasure of the day, (2) resign ourselves and live for others, or (3) embrace God and trust that we will have pleasure even in our utter resignation of self.
Wow. I could write another essay, if I had the time. I already turned in my second and last essay for Philosophy, however.
Millions of people's lives, reduced to no more than words on a computer screen. Data that doesn't really exist, because it has no physical manifestation. 0s and 1s stored somewhere deep inside the labyrinthian recesses of the machines we call computers. Makes me wonder how much we really know, as a race. We have these wonderful tools that we use every day, and that make us feel very intelligent and advanced. Yet that's all we do. We use them. Only a very few of us actually know how they work. So if this is the case, how advanced are we, really?
It's the same with everything else. We have things and we use them, but we don't know how to make them. Thus, we have many blessings, and yet we personally are not responsible for them. I personally am not responsible for the calendar on my wall, the Post-Its on my desk, the Monet print over my desk, or the bottle of fingernail polish in my drawer, except insofar as I purchased them. I am, however, responsible for everything that comes out of my mouth - and that is not glorious in the least.
I have no reason to be proud.
